HATE!!

i no longer have feelings,
only hatred lingers,
i cant no longer heal,
my scars stays forevers,

my mind has no peace,
i cant live with ease,
being happy is my wish,
but only hate on my list,

i noe its bad,
it only makes me sad,
but now i have no patience,
im out to get my vengeance,

God n Satan dwell in me,
interpreting wat they see,
should i kill or let it be,
my sould no longer free,

nw i go to a place i hate,
yet destined to be by fate,
where angels sing n fire's burn,
In God ray i will burn...

WHAT IS LOVE?

What is love??.. really?? Can anyone really describe wat love is? I really think not... because.. if u can decribe it, ur jz faking love..

You might say love is sum1 caring for someone... does dat mean u love ur barber/hairstylist?

you might say love is sum1 doing sumthing from the bottom of their heart... does dat mean all charitable person love the poor??


i wud say love is sumthing u could not explain... love is sumthing dat comes from deep within (i hope its not from ur bowels)... love is sumthing u feel.. love is more than tolerating one another differences... love is... well.. LOVE!!...

i simply cant explain it but i feel it.. WHY is love so hard to explain??.... there was a saying i say in the movie sepet (or how i wud sum it up)... " You can love sumone in a second but u cant like the person a minute..."... i guess thats y there are so many sick puppies around, me included... yes im still in love.. very much in love... it'll b two years in june but of cz, a lil much longer for me (as i was the sick puppy :-D), but i still love my darling the same i loved her wen i 1st fell in love.. i think i grew much more since den.. all the things we share n we've been tru... i really think what i have wit her, i can never achieve it wit any other human (or living creature for that matter)......yes, the pass 6months havent been such a silky smooth ride but i think im becoming more u.standing, well at least i hope i am....but wats a relatioship without its ups n downs... seriously, if ur a couple n havent had ur quarrel yet, sumthing sum where is wrong.....


Back to topic, LOVE... LOVE... LOVE>>> yes... im in love!!.. im filled wit love n im surrounded by it... my darling definitley drowns me wit love, my parents, my frenz.... but i wud say that a lover's love knows no boundary.. yes.. my darling, my chayang (dis word copywrited, daniel dun steal.. muahahahahha)... my one and only princess n sweetie, miss vageswary @ stella (wat to do, nowadays got people muz have london name :-p)...

my trip bek to kuantan was really wat i needed from the tension i've bee pullin without being near my darling... the 1st 3days was filled wit hugs n kisses, very romantic, tho i only hand at her place it was better den being far away not seeing tru dat star filled eyes...

ok.. im gonna stop now n let u guys finish vommiting.... i noe i noe.. very revolting.. yea yea.. i noe la... but wat to to.. got people steal my heart so im like this lor... hmmm... i wonder wether i shud tell u guys bout how i met my sweet heart.. dat will b another time.. of cz...

b4 i go... DARLING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

WHO AM I??

Who am i really?... if u judge by my blogs n stuff, u wud summarize me into a few things

1. very in love
2. very dark
3.hopeless romantic


yes i am all of that but i am much more... here.. today i reveal to you wat i am trully.. no more mask, no more macy's day parade...

I am alone.. yes i have a gf but i still feel alone... i have frenz yet i still feel alone... im always the person that blended in but sumhow becomes the forgotten one... i realise this wen i was young, 9-10 years old.. mayb being the eldest in the family, i had to look out for myself more.. i tend to do thinks by myself... yes i love being wit company but sum how, i dunnno, i still feek left aside..

im not saying that i have a bad gf, no... wen im wit her, i cherish every single milisecond with her but i do wonder y i still feel emoty at times...
mayb its me, i noe its me but y so???

being me, i try to "lose myself" in music.. but reality has to hit my head every 10mins.. at those moments i feel alone.. and im a guy who cant seem to forget the past... it rewinds in my head like a post production studio.... wenever i hear or see sumthing that reminds me of sumthing or a conversation, the memory lingers, most of the time it becomes a re-act of those memories in which case i think of wat i shud have said or done... it like a dream only that ur not sleeping... kinda depressin really but thats jz me... n bcz of this "gift", i had alot of problem wit my gf... not that i wanna bring up old stories wen we have arguments, but it jz pops up.. i wanna b forgetfull, especially of my past but wat am i to do???.

n i like being an entertainer, a crowd pleaser.. so i try to "satisfy" every1 needs as much i can... im not saying i like to help people but i think i have "entertainer blood".. watever the hell that means.... like instance, i cant sing, but i still sing anyways (wit music in the bekground) jz so i can please a crowd (this no longer happens but i stil love to do it).. i do things jz to see people happy...

So who am i really?.. am i jz a make believe of everything i seee n hear?? am i jz a psychopath who deals wit his problems differently??. who am i or WHAT Am I?>>. i dunno. trying to work things out wit myself... mayb i shud had taken psychology course... at least i cud do sum medical test on myself to see wether im scientifically retarded... mayb i already am jz dat im taking it lightly... WHO?????? WHAT???????? WHY?????.... STOP ASKING QUESTIONS!!! i hope i get to fake my death... jz to see how many people wud actually come to my funeral.. that'll b fun... jz to see my family coming to bury.. i doubt any1 else wud come but time will tell.. till den... i hope to write again..

hmmm.. i wonder if i have multiple idiotic personality syndrome... ill let u noe if i find out... :-)

sorry sayang

fight fight fight... dats all i do rite now wit my gf.. no more romantic feeling, no more taking care of her feeling, jz destroyinh her mental health..

Y da hell im like this nowdays, i dun noe..jz feeling angst n frustation without a reason... always finding prob.. Y Y Y Y AM I A FUCKING ARSEHOLE TO MY GAL!!!???..

She didnt do anything to hurt me but im hurting her,.. i cant live wit that feeling.. knowing that i hurt her so much.. i noe i can say sorry but it really doesnt do the trick.. i can still tell she's sad n pissed at me...

i wanna jz break wit her jz so i wont pressure her anymore but i still love her so much n i rather b wit her than without..fuck im confuse..
n i know she's hurt.. really badly... wat am i to do??.. sorry sayang.. i cant do much.. i hate myself so much right now.. knowing ur sad that i caused it.. hurts me n make me feel like wanna kill myself... i hope u kill me wen i meet u jz so u'll feel better n live ur live happily without me pressuring me again..i feel so fucked...

i feel bad

i feel like suicide


i feel like such an ass...

i hope i die..

i hope i dun live to see the next day light...

i hopeu live happily ever after..

i hope u dun feel hur cz of me again..

i hope u dun cry anymore
i hope u dun b sad anymore.

im gonna leave u alone for a while now,.. but im not breaking up..
im not quitin u wen i have sumthing really special..

u changed my life... u actually made me enjoy life ina way i never felt..

i finally noe wat true love is..

but now i jz hate my self..

ok im gonna shut up now..

if u feel like callin or msgin me anytime..

please do... imm really really sorry.. :-(<

evil pictures of me

THIS ARE PICTURES TAKEN BY TITUS MACBOOK PRO>>>
EXJOY THE EXXTREME N HORRIFIC FACES OF ME!!!

DR.Frankenstein!!

EVIL EYEDS

CMON.. every1 love horny elves.. muahahahadun u jz love fat kids.. hahaha

OMFG!!!!oooooooodun i look like the guy from the dragonball comic.. hahahacute inbred childrenDO YOU HEAR THE LOVE?? WOOT WOOT!!my triple eyed twin.. so sexy... lol..

DEAD NOT BURIED

i sumtime wonder why am i on eart?? wat ever i do effects sum1 in sumway... especially my gf... i've beeen a really, really, really bad bf lately.. yelling at her for no reason.. stupid rite? y treat her like dat wen she my princess, the queen on my heart... but it did happen n no matter how much sorry i say, it the n guilt never goes away..

im no the kind of guy that can forgive n forget... forgetin is 1 of my BIG flaws, i never can forget.. things dat happen, conversation jz comes in my mind at random times n i am force to replay the memories over again.. it suck.. i think im half past crazy.. dunno la.. if u wud excuse me.. i wanna go murder a mosquito n kill the internet..

??/

i hate... i hate... i hate...

oops.. wrong blog...