In Real Deep Shitz

its now 9.14am on a saturday morning... im still at college since i overnited for Dj-ing and i havent slept for 24hours literally... Been a really exhausting day... Very emotional and physically tiring.
Im jz waiting for Amri or Khairul ( Our College technical supervisors) to come in so i can sign out the Dj room key... I wish they come sooner....

As u can see from the title... im in real shitz... Life isnt beautifull with me at the moment... matter in fact... its brutal... Its like hitler's soul jz came down from heaven and im its prey for fun... Feeling wat im feeling isnt good... Though it needed me to be in this state to be thinking a lot... I still hate the feeling and the fact of where i am... Life is Unfair.. Life is a bitch.. life is a Dick... You Fuck or get fucked.. well, apparently, judging by how my life is now.... Im mother nature's lil bitch... There goes wat's left of my dignity.... *Sits in a corner and go emo*....

For those of asking... What are my problems?... well.. let me explain to u...

The 1st... and always... IS Money.... im in actually In real shit wit money... For the Room that im gonna rent from college admins... That'll cost me Rm660 the 1st month plus deposit and utilities... Im almost broke now and i duwan to ask my parents for money for the room.. i told them i cud manage and i will...... sum how... i dunno.. but i have to.... The room is Rm280 per month... pretty alrite since it comes wit an air con. I dun mind la... JZ need to pay the 1st month den i can manage my way tru... Wondering where to Cough up Rm600 at least.. for the room... haiz..... Then.. MY Phone bill.... Its off the roof... cz i've been calling my gf.... she's using Digi.. so u noe la... How much my bill?.. hmmmm... i rather u not noe... but it is pretty high... so.. adding that to the room rent.... u noe wat that means rite?... it means I.... A.M... F.U.C.K.E.D!!! Where can i get money??.. GOd.. PLease save me...

Then the 2nd shitz dat im in... and the worst wan... My gf and I will be breaking up... ok ok.. relax people... dun get shocked... or a heart attack.. breathe.. breathe... feeling better?.. ok.. good.. let me explain.... U See... My Gf mum doesnt wan my baby to date while in college... for sum reasons... * Choose any reason that parents always give their children to not date wen in an education system*..... Seeing my baby tear up in front of me was enuf.... cz i didnt wan her to disapoint her mum *not to mention the mum threaten my baby by puling her out of college if she dis-obeys*.. I rather she continue with her life and be succesfull instead of hangin on to me, sum1 dat might not be even to provide for her...

SO we decided to break... jz for the moment. and when i say moment.. i meant 3years or till she finish studyin, which ever comes last.... Monday will be the day we are officially un-tied to each other.... And the thought of it jz scares me... What if sum guy comes in and sweep my baby's feet away? what if in btwn of distance, we no longer feel wat we're currently feeling for each other?.. I noe, i noe... u might be thinking im jz paranoid and the lack of sleep is increasing my "dream machine" work load... but im still "sober-headed"... i noe wat im thinking... 1month, 2weeks and 3days it has been.... and another 2days is all we have to say i love you's... hug each other.. kiss each other...hold hands in public.. 48hours is all we have... 48hours is all i have before i go bek into my prison.. singlehood.... yes yes.. i noe... but im like dat... i love being attached... not a big fan of singlehood... call me an old uncle but thats how i am... Damn... my head hurts... Where the hell are this people to get me out of college!!!

Im Currently looking for a job... need to support my spending... especially my room and utilities..
Wonder if any has a job to offer?>. anything... i'll take anything u give.....

ok ok.. i better stop.. my head hurts... i feel like crying.. literally... in a real dilemma and i have no more strength... im jz squeezing wat ever i have left of me to carry on... I need a hug... i need my baby back.... Doesnt this jz seem so unfair?... y does all my relationship has sum sort of weird parents saying no.. not even a disagreement.. a straight up BIG NO NO!!!.. arrrgghh!!.. wat am i to do???.. haiz... nvm,,, we'll see how this goes.. till den... :(