What's Happening??

What's happening to me?.. y Am i not happy?... KNP EMO2 NI??...

I have no idea... been a bit down for the past few days... and last nite i reach my worse.. people who noe me trully(which is no1.. yeah... its sad.. i noe) noes i dun show my emo/sad side wen im out wit other people... but last nite, i showed it... n its bad.. i was emo for no reason... normally, hangin out wit christine and tina wud cheer me up but not yesday... i dunno wats wrong?.. Personal eMotion Syndrome i guess... hehe.. dunno la..

but then i was thinkin about it... was thinkin bout wats wrong? wat happening?... n got a few clues of y i am like this..it cud b 1 of them it cud b a mix of all.. i dunno.. im jz spitballin here..

1. Being single for too long??...
2. No outlet for my tension??
3. Monetary problem??

hahaha.. guess it is all of it... hmmm... oh well.. but i dunno la... y my life never stays happy... i dunno.. but without sadness, u dun enjoy happiness... rite???
Weird la.. How i manage to help people with their probz, calming them n cheering them up, but i cant do dat to myself... WHy la??... Do i need sum1 to cheer me up?... DO i need a gf to do dat?... Am i dat pathetic?.... haiz... dunno la.... i keep smiling n live myself....

Another thing dat makes me sad i guess wud b my selection of "crushes"... it's weird.... wenever i have a crush on sum1... its either they get a bf in the process of me tryin to get them or they reject me but sum how end up in a bad relationship.. at times i feel i move to slow... but if im lookin for a gf.. im lookin for a permanent wan... i dun mind having a fuck buddy... great tension releaser.. true dat.. but i wan sum1 i can connect wit... see la.. mayb ill jz get 1 for fun.. jz to fuck around...

Ah fuck it la... ill jz wait n see... i cudt care less now dy... Shud i tell the current crush?.. or shud i remain mum n find another wan?... weird eh how life kick's u in the ass after u help ur frenz goes to the similar shit ur feeling.... haahaa... come to think of it... i feel i have the upper hand yet the feeling of it gets me down...

IM broke! IM internet'less! IM phone LESS! IM Bored! I NEED TO EXERCISE! I need to go bek to the beach!. I NEED TO FORGET MY PAST! i NEED TO B HAPPY! I need sum1 to talk to!

To tina n Christine, Thanks for caring n always being there for me... sorry u cudt make me happy the other day.. it wasnt u, its me... im jz a lil down... u guys never fail to put a smile on my face... I LOVE YOU GUYS! i shall b fine...

haiz... i think i alraedy spoke too much... i need to chill... writing never solve anything for me... guess i need bek the METAL!... quoting Tenacious D "YOU CANT KILL THE METAL".... METAL is me! ANd i AM METAL!... No matter how techno electro i go.... MOSH PIT IS THE BEST!

Till then..................... AMiSADORAMiJZDYINGOFBOREDNESS??